almost two full cycles around the sun later....

whoah--have i seriously forgotten about this blog, or what? well, not entirely forgotten, but avoided it, perhaps. for a long time there hasn't been absolutely anything of substance or good news to report. we "finished" our agreed-upon 12 tries with our KD and wife. i think they would have been happy to re-up for more, but we're not going that route (for reasons explained below). but we did try with them for quite a while longer, especially considering we took breaks in between every so often. the last couple times we tried (i think in late fall?) it was already started to feel weird, like we hadn't done it in a while, and obviously it wasn't going to work, so?....but as always i am thankful beyond words for their participation in this whole gig for so long. we're going out to dinner with them this saturday for a formal, ritualistic end to that period. meanwhile i thought i should at least give it a shot to try and get infertility procedures approved through my insurance. this was after my endo played around with my thyroid levels for well over a year and declared she didn't think that was the problem. so i went back to my GP to ask for a referral to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist). she was kind of hesitant about doing it because she knows the hetero bias in insurance coverage and was worried they might approve things and then 'find out' later on that i haven't been having baby-making sex and force me to pay them back. a valid question, sure, but i needed her to just say then, that NO she won't write the referral or YES she will. what actually happened was her dragging it out for MONTHS. this appointment, where she reluctantly said she would do it, was in august of last year. it finally got approved in.....december! (christmas miracle!) i won't go into all the ridiculously monotonous and boring details, but suffice it to say i had to DRAG it out of her. and the insurance. and the other doctors i had to get to send in reports. the guy at my insurance got super used to my phone calls to check in on status. for a while i was pretty convinced it wasn't going to happen because they requested proof that i'd tried medical assistance before, and from my perspective i really hadn't (guess it turns out the IUIs in the clinic and the endo treatment counted there!), so for a while i was just persisting so i wouldn't regret not having done so--but had no hope. when i was making one of my bi-weekly calls in mid-december and the insurance guy told me it had been approved, i couldn't believe it!!! i texted and told all the in-the-know-people freaking out all afternoon. that of course started off another round of "preparatory" pieces. i had to get my referral, get registered at the doctor they choose, make a first appointment, go through a cycle's worth of testing (CD3 blood, HSG), and on and on. i will say that the place they assigned me to, UIC (University of Illinois at Chicago) fertility center is AMAZING. i love my doctors, i love the staff, i even love the random people at the hospital when i went to radiology for my HSG. everyone is nice, kind, upbeat, hopeful and helpful. they are blowing every other doctor i've worked with out of the water! and finally we are at an actual attempted medical cycle. after all my tests coming out fine last month, the doctor decided we are at go to try this month with clomid and a trigger shot. i've got all the meds sitting at home and just waiting to use them. my period had it's own last laugh by showing up like 4 days late, just because it knew i was waiting for it with bated breath (it NEVER shows up late!), but who cares! here we are now, at CD2, meds start tomorrow, ultrasound next week, then the following week IUI! we're going to order from NW again and yet again i LOVE our donor, so i hope they still have some in stock by the time the dr's office calls me back with the shipping address. i don't expect it to work automatically the first try and i'm not looking forward to the heartbreak when it doesn't. BUT i have hope again. things fell into place with the referral and the awesome doctor/office and the fact that we happened to have student loans with which to purchase swimmies :) the upcoming years don't make a ton of sense since i have to do an internship next spring, so by the time this baby comes i won't have income or health insurance (ha! life, you're hilarious!) but we're forging ahead anyway. my insurance will cover 3 IUIs and 3 IVFs. if it doesn't work after that i'm pretty sure i'll be able to accept it by that point, since i was almost there anyway without even trying medicated cycles. in the meantime we're still trying to diet and we joined the Y, so our lives are already different not of our own volition :P