so i was reading about picking sperm donors on some other lovely blogs about ttc, and i was thinking to myself, what would the absolute ideal situation be? i know there are pros and cons to known donor versus anonymous, but i think my ideal would be a close friend, who could be a part (even a "friend" part) of the child's life. i picture us being the two moms, but the friend living in at least the same city, us going on picnics together once in a while, maybe even going to church together. the friend would not have to be a dad at all, but he would have the privilege of being a friend. isn't that lovely?

we've actually had a few friends mention their desire to be sperm donors, and i doubt that any of these friends would later try to gain custody or anything like those other horror stories. the thing is, though...i'm not super IMPRESSED by any of these people. is that horrible? i don't find them particularly handsome or intelligent or inspiring. how sad! i don't mean to say that our friends are not wonderful people! i just am not ATTRACTED to any of their qualities such that i would like to live with them as a family. which is how the heterosexual community picks its procreative mates, so why should i be any different?

i was trying to think of who i would choose out of all the people i know, who most impresses me, to be a co-parent of my child. and would you believe i could only think of women?? i swear i am not an anti-man kind of a gal...i just apparently know an awful lot of wonderful women. i'd pay for some of becky's sperm, for example, if she had any. getting some of ashlee's would mean my kid would be beautiful AND incredibly smart. michael's (yes, she is a girl) would help create an artistic, adventuresome, wondrous spirit. and on and on.

again, i know this sounds like some kind of "brave new world" pick the qualities you want in your kid kind of thing...but let's face it, that's essentially what we're doing when we decide who to flirt with! and thus, the main point of this post is--that thank goodness whosever sperm i eventually buy, half of that wonderful child will be e's.

i've found at least one person who summarily impresses me :)

by the way, yes, baby making plans are still on the list. we have made it our first priority to get our own apartment, and as soon as that's crossed off, to start saving up everything extra for babying. i am pretty positive about this. the translation-sellin' business is a dog-eat-dog world, but time heals all wounds. or something. anyhow i have started to make commission, and though last month brought in a total of only $44, it's a beginning.

i think i've essentially decided in my mind which fertility clinic i like the best. i wonder if e is in agreement?

gotta run go get laundry.