as you, the faithful (imaginary?) reader know, i’ve been waiting a WHILE for this second attempt at IUI. we skipped last month because of late ovulation issues, and since that made the cycle that much longer, we have now officially gone two months since last IUI. and the idea is that hopefully the second one will be in the next couple of days here....
i’ve been feeling fairly positive about this one for some reason. not in the frenetic, overly-excited, chicken-with-its-head-cut-off way of last time; i think i need to be more calm and rational about this for my own mental health. but for some reason i’ve just been feeling good about it. not like women who just ‘KNOW they’re pregnant’, as that could feasibly be due to some change in their internal chemistry whereas i haven’t even insemmed yet, so there exists nothing that i could be ‘sensing’ yet. but i’m staying positive. maybe the fact that i know there’s another option if this doesn’t work (the aforementioned possible KD), although i have the vague feeling that we’re not going to need another option (careful, getting too optimistic??). also for the last few days (TMI warning!) my CM has been very creamy, more impressively so than usual–it just feels like it’s really gearing up, you know?
so of course there has to be a wrench thrown in the system somwhere. yesterday and today, my BBTs were above normal–they are around the range of my POST ovulation temps in previous months. how is that possible? it’s too early, i don’t have EWCM yet, and i don’t have a positive smiley yet. so what the heck. i thought yesterday was just a fluke, and then it kept going up today. ANNOYING! maybe it’s just because i wore a shirt to bed last night since it’s starting to get colder (and don't usually....)? i don’t know.....
p.s. i went to the alternative insemination group for the second time earlier this week and enjoyed it again. i’m still a little shy and wish i talked more, cause there really is SO much to talk about, but i always have this feeling that i don’t want to talk too much so i hold myself back. there were two pregnant couples (including the woman who leads the group), two couples who haven’t even started trying yet, and me. there were no snacks but it was the day i gave blood so I had some animal crackers :)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
so we haven't really considered using a KD much at all, for various reasons. frankly we don't know many men that we feel that close to, or respected enough to ask them to take on that role, etc. also, DP is hesitant because she's quite nervous that someday the dad would try and get custody. so we kind of danced around the idea a bit when having those "what are ALL our options" conversations but nothing beyond that.
meanwhile, recently we've been having TONS of unexpected expenses that have completely decimated our savings and any plans we have of TTC further, and after this month (for which we had already purchased the swim team) we were going to be forced to take an indefinite break of at least a year. this has been bumming me out significantly for the past month or so.
so this morning...i got a surprise email from some new friends of ours--the wife of the couple is a student with DP at seminary, and they came to our civil union earlier this year and are just generally cool, fun and wacky liberal people: they live in a co-op with like twenty other people, combined their last names when they got married--like, squished them together to form a new one, not combined them with a hyphen--and just recently they hosted a fundraiser for the homeless shelter where the husband works (he's a pastor) at a transgender bar. yeah....liberal : )
DP and the wife have been getting to be closer friends, and her first reaction this morning when we got the email is that maybe it's something we COULD think about (instead of just saying no like we had been previously to the idea of KD). i just think, no matter if we end up doing this or not, that it was such a sweet offer and really shows they are thinking of us and supporting us. but more than that, it totally opens up the possibility of continuing to try when i thought october was our absolute last shot!!! i'm not getting any younger : ), and the idea of having to wait a whole nother year just to TRY was quite depressing. and then this email shows up out of nowhere!!
plus, keeping in track with the post yesterday about gingers, the husband is a TOTAL red-head : ). love it!
meanwhile, recently we've been having TONS of unexpected expenses that have completely decimated our savings and any plans we have of TTC further, and after this month (for which we had already purchased the swim team) we were going to be forced to take an indefinite break of at least a year. this has been bumming me out significantly for the past month or so.
so this morning...i got a surprise email from some new friends of ours--the wife of the couple is a student with DP at seminary, and they came to our civil union earlier this year and are just generally cool, fun and wacky liberal people: they live in a co-op with like twenty other people, combined their last names when they got married--like, squished them together to form a new one, not combined them with a hyphen--and just recently they hosted a fundraiser for the homeless shelter where the husband works (he's a pastor) at a transgender bar. yeah....liberal : )
DP and the wife have been getting to be closer friends, and her first reaction this morning when we got the email is that maybe it's something we COULD think about (instead of just saying no like we had been previously to the idea of KD). i just think, no matter if we end up doing this or not, that it was such a sweet offer and really shows they are thinking of us and supporting us. but more than that, it totally opens up the possibility of continuing to try when i thought october was our absolute last shot!!! i'm not getting any younger : ), and the idea of having to wait a whole nother year just to TRY was quite depressing. and then this email shows up out of nowhere!!
plus, keeping in track with the post yesterday about gingers, the husband is a TOTAL red-head : ). love it!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
CD2!
so the looooooong wait is over and finally a new cycle is starting so we can try again! as you recall from reading my last post (which i wrote weeks ago but you may have just finished reading .7 seconds ago), my ovulation was way late last month. approximately one business week. meaning that by the time i got a +OPK (which i did finally get, at least!) it was our first morning in cleveland for the long labor day weekend, and my spermies were still back here at the clinic in chicago, so no insem for us last month. meaning i had to wait for the new cycle to use our lovely vials. and of course, since O was so late, my luteal phase (being a good luteal phase and staying at its same approximate length) didn't end until friday, CD34. a record for me!
we ended up paying the $100 "month-off" fee to the clinic, which they charge you if you skip a month so they can keep their budgeting vaguely on track. at first this was annoying but then i realized that it's basically covering a free month of storage, since they kept my swimmies and i didn't have to send them back to nw, pay a re-stocking fee, and then order them again this month. so totally worth it!
speaking of swimmies, i never talked about our new donor #! i actually forget what number it is, but the point is that it's the number one pick they sent us after doing photo matching to esther. this is exciting! now, we really did love our previous donor and were bummed when he ran out, but this new guy sounds cool in various ways. plus since he's not limited supply his samples are probably not as old. plus esther seems to feeling even more connected since choosing him was based on HER! (and will likely share at least some physical resemblence). i forget what else is cool about him but if he 'works' i would definitely buy the extended profile. fingers crossed!!!
if my O happens on or around my normal schedule, i would O around oct 2. i like the way this sounds just because i love fall--turning leaves, crisp air, cozy sweaters, and then the string of fun holidays in a row--halloween, my birthday, thanksgiving, heading on towards christmas.... and plus i now have an awesome new obsession: having a baby born on the 4th of july :P. this is just because i know so many other citizens of my dear country think we're the totally 'un-american' family, two women trying to make babies in a clear attempt to undermine the traditional american family...so i would just love to have the ALL american baby :). but obviously that's not really controllable so i will be perfectly find with a july 3rd of july 5th or june 27th baby, too!!
ok, about a week and a half until i start POAS again. i'm going to use them more sparingly this time because i really don't feel like buying another box, and i only have 7 left. that really should be enough if i do CD13, CD14, CD15, and then 2 each CD16 and 17. yesterday i was analyzing my patterns on fertility friend and in the majority of cases (4 out of 6 months--what is that, 66% of the time?) i get my temp rise the day immediately after my +OPK. meaning, most likely, that O happens the same day as +OPK (because your temp rises a certain amount of time--who knows how many hours exactly, but some--AFTER O, because it's the now-empty corpus luteum starting to release whatever hormone it is that makes your temp go up). meaning it would be better to do both insems that same day. or at least within 24 hours of it, if i get it in the evening. last time we did like 15 and 38 hours after +OPK, and i'd much rather do like 14 and 26 if i get a + in the evening before. and what if i get it in a morning as opposed to an evening test? i don't think they'll let me do it right away, so maybe 12 and 25? grr, i hate not knowing exactly what hour i O! i guess that's the point of the ultrasounds once you get to the point of using an RE...i wonder if they WOULD let me do it right away, if i explained this to them?
that reminds me i gotta call monday and let them know i started. and maybe ask for a discount this month?? :)
we ended up paying the $100 "month-off" fee to the clinic, which they charge you if you skip a month so they can keep their budgeting vaguely on track. at first this was annoying but then i realized that it's basically covering a free month of storage, since they kept my swimmies and i didn't have to send them back to nw, pay a re-stocking fee, and then order them again this month. so totally worth it!
speaking of swimmies, i never talked about our new donor #! i actually forget what number it is, but the point is that it's the number one pick they sent us after doing photo matching to esther. this is exciting! now, we really did love our previous donor and were bummed when he ran out, but this new guy sounds cool in various ways. plus since he's not limited supply his samples are probably not as old. plus esther seems to feeling even more connected since choosing him was based on HER! (and will likely share at least some physical resemblence). i forget what else is cool about him but if he 'works' i would definitely buy the extended profile. fingers crossed!!!
if my O happens on or around my normal schedule, i would O around oct 2. i like the way this sounds just because i love fall--turning leaves, crisp air, cozy sweaters, and then the string of fun holidays in a row--halloween, my birthday, thanksgiving, heading on towards christmas.... and plus i now have an awesome new obsession: having a baby born on the 4th of july :P. this is just because i know so many other citizens of my dear country think we're the totally 'un-american' family, two women trying to make babies in a clear attempt to undermine the traditional american family...so i would just love to have the ALL american baby :). but obviously that's not really controllable so i will be perfectly find with a july 3rd of july 5th or june 27th baby, too!!
ok, about a week and a half until i start POAS again. i'm going to use them more sparingly this time because i really don't feel like buying another box, and i only have 7 left. that really should be enough if i do CD13, CD14, CD15, and then 2 each CD16 and 17. yesterday i was analyzing my patterns on fertility friend and in the majority of cases (4 out of 6 months--what is that, 66% of the time?) i get my temp rise the day immediately after my +OPK. meaning, most likely, that O happens the same day as +OPK (because your temp rises a certain amount of time--who knows how many hours exactly, but some--AFTER O, because it's the now-empty corpus luteum starting to release whatever hormone it is that makes your temp go up). meaning it would be better to do both insems that same day. or at least within 24 hours of it, if i get it in the evening. last time we did like 15 and 38 hours after +OPK, and i'd much rather do like 14 and 26 if i get a + in the evening before. and what if i get it in a morning as opposed to an evening test? i don't think they'll let me do it right away, so maybe 12 and 25? grr, i hate not knowing exactly what hour i O! i guess that's the point of the ultrasounds once you get to the point of using an RE...i wonder if they WOULD let me do it right away, if i explained this to them?
that reminds me i gotta call monday and let them know i started. and maybe ask for a discount this month?? :)
Friday, September 02, 2011
this process is hilarious.
i ovulated! or at least, i probably will! just now, at T minus 2 hours from our departure from pittsburgh, i just got an enormous amount of EWCM. like, so much that i keep finding it on my hands even after i left the bathroom (gross, i know, but for purposes of demonstrating how much there was....)
of course this is CD20, doesn't mean ovulation will necessarily happen today or tomorrow (though likely), and it's TOO LATE to inseminate this month because of our trip! aside from this being SO incredibly frustrating...it's really quite funny!
at least now i don't have to be worried that something is wrong with me. it's quite clear that it was delayed because of stress. and now it's back. punto.
i will also be back, in a few days....
happy labor day!
of course this is CD20, doesn't mean ovulation will necessarily happen today or tomorrow (though likely), and it's TOO LATE to inseminate this month because of our trip! aside from this being SO incredibly frustrating...it's really quite funny!
at least now i don't have to be worried that something is wrong with me. it's quite clear that it was delayed because of stress. and now it's back. punto.
i will also be back, in a few days....
happy labor day!
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