good news and bad news?

first the bad news: this morning i felt my slight 'week-before-period' cramps. i get these slight, minor cramps, just for a brief period, every month about a week before my period actually comes. don't ask me why...i can't imagine why my uterus would need to practice a week early--and if it needs to practice that bad, why it only does so one day and then chillaxes again for the next week! but i just know i get it every month before AF. this doesn't NECESSARILY mean AF is coming, but it just sort of reminded me that it totally could be. even though i've been saying to myself this whole time, could be yes, could be no, just like always, apparently i was secretly starting to think it worked, because when i felt the twinges this morning it was like it HIT me that perhaps it didn't work. and OF COURSE it may not have worked! this was only our first try with KD and i literally had no clue what i was doing and we've only been trying 3 months anyway...i wish, though, when i say these logical things to myself, that i could actually believe them. because then when reality sinks in it feels much worse.

i've been able to pinoint a few 'symptoms' lately, i.e. things that are different than they usually are, but i have also been able to explain away each and every one of them, making them not such great clues afterall. for example, i've been really tired lately--could that be because i don't get enough sleep?? also, i was slightly dizzy today. but, that's because i didn't eat dinner last night. and i didn't eat dinner last night because i felt nauseous. WHICH is because when i got home from work yesterday, i proceeded to eat a huge piece of leftover birthday cake. see what i'm saying here?

anywho i am 8dpo and less than a week away from either AF or testing. i've stopped temping which has truly been lovely. i have a chance for it to go either way and i want to be happy with that! and if it didn't work i still have this truly amazing KD and wife who are already ready for next time (maybe they're running low on ice cream?...)

the good news: i've gone to the restroom twice today, and both times the pregnant lady from the office next to ours was in there. so clearly, if i'm peeing on the same schedule as a pregnant lady....just saying :)