impressively complicated.

wow...has this cycle ever thrown me for a loop!

the only main issue for the last several weeks has been money; do we have enough to buy swimmies this month?/looks like we do, order!/ups, some unexpected expenses come out so we didn't really, but now it's too late so that's what credit cards are for/(repeat this same experience of random expenses appearing about 3 or 4 more times over the course of one day)/juggle the numbers and dates around enough to make it actually totally financially fine for this month--this just as of this morning, and how impressed am i!!

but in the midst of this, my +OPKs are eluding me. and this taking into account that i've been testing like 4 times a day (which also implies holding it in for many hours a day and night! yeesh :) for several days now. it's starting to feel so late that i started assuming that the financial stress was delaying ovulation...which was my theory until i started feeling that financial stress (or any other undetected cause) has completely CANCELLED ovulation and that we just won't have a go at it this month. there's still a part of me that doesn't think this and says "of COURSE it'll come! just wait!" but we are already halfway into CD18 (read: 2 of today's 4 POASs come and gone!) and i'm not buying it so much anymore. and of course we're going out of town friday night for labor day so there is no "wait forever" option--it's either happening in the next two days or it's not happening this month.

which brings me to the OTHER fun (slash horribly stressful) thing that happened this month. last night i got an automated email from UPS saying that the dewar had been picked up and was on its way back to spokane. and i'm like, (and here i quote): WHAT. it was like 9 at night and way too late to call my health clinic and i was SO confused and worried that since they never heard from me (that would be me not calling them because i still hadn't gotten my surge) they decided i didn't really care or had skipped town or what have you, and just sent it back! i left a message for them last night (which in my opinion sounded totally normal considering the height of confusion that i was actually at) and they called me back today to say, essentially, 'no, silly.' they told me that as soon as they get the shipment (i.e. last thursday morning) they transfer the vials to their own deep freeze and this is just them sending the dewar back as normally scheduled, but they still have my guys. and can keep them there til next month if there is no O in august. so there.

so there, really! no loss of swimmers. all money issues basically resolved. a fun trip this weekend to pittsburgh. and if it doesn't happen in the next two days and we have to wait to inseminate until next round, the gift (??) of being able to obsess about TTC for one extra month this year :). (cause this is definitely the last try this year).

but talk about your montañas rusas!!!!!!!!!!! ('roller coaster' in spanish.....cliched term but more true than i can possibly explain.)